10. If a Cat comes home at 4am, it slinks in, quietly, and lies down. When your Child comes home, there is a loud crash in the hallway followed by laughing, singing and belching. Afterwards, when it finally gets quiet, the home becomes awash with loud snoring accompanied by the Flapper Butt Band playing “Smell Me Honey All Night Long” and occasionally mixing in with the White Porcelain Buddy Band playing the hit tune “Barf Until You Feel It Down Below.”

9. If the Cat has long hair, you just shave it. If your Child’s hair is too long, you have to live with it until it either becomes
A. A Health Hazard
B. It gets too long to drive without blowing in their face all the time and causing an accident or
C. It gets so long they have to use two Rasta hats to fit it all in. (Think of a really colorful Mickey Mouse head)

8. Cats normally mate with their own kind. Your Child on the other hand brings home all manner of life forms, some of which may or may not be extra-terrestrial or one of the undead.

7. Cats don’t normally plop on the couch and change the channel or hog the remote.

6. Cats don’t normally rent pay for porn on your cable, and then deny ever ordering it when the bill arrives. Of course, the Cat will have a blank stare when asked as well.

5. If you leave your Cat alone at home, when you return, the car will still have a full tank of gas, the refrigerator will still have food and the house won’t be littered with empties.

4. The Cat really has only one attitude. They don’t love you; however, you will love them. They expect it, and there won’t be any discussion. Your Child needs reassurance from time to time even though you’ve paid the emergency room bill, had the car towed and made sure all of the friends got a ride home.

3. Cats have only one thing on their mind at one time. It’s play, sleep or food. Your Child has the same things on their mind, however, it does cost $100.00 an hour, is illegal and in most states punishable by a fine, jail time or both.

2. Cats will not ask you for money no matter how “cute” “wicked” or “on sale” any item is.

And the number one reason a Cat is better than a returning Adult Child..................

If the Cat goes AWOL for a day or two, you begin to worry and miss them.

Copyright by Leonard Buchholz

Leonard Buchholz is a Certified Trainer, Speaker and Author. If you are looking for a seminar leader that is "High Touch and Low Tech," look no further. Leonard is known for energetic seminars that involve the participants. Seminar subjects include Customer Service, Difficult People and Difficult Situations, Management and Communications.

Reach him at leonard@bizprotraining.com or call 760-529-5635.